I'm sure you've all heard the lovely hit duet "Same Girl" featuing R. Kelly and Usher (and if you haven't, just watch the music video above). Now I'm not the biggest Usher or Kells fan, but I gotta admit: it's kinda catchy, and I find myself humming its tune in the oddest of places (while taking a shit or jerking off in the shower, for example).
Now for those of you unfamiliar with the song and its lyrics, the basic premise is that "Ush" and "Kells" are "messin' with the same girl" without knowing it and from talking to each other, they discover that this beyotch has been two-timing both of them. Now the casual passerby might think to himself, "Hmm...what a novel concept for a song," However, if you happen to be an evil genius like me, you'd be thinking "Hmm...how would the song sound if instead of messin' around with the same girl, they were actually fucking the same guy. Hell, not only that: they were also fucking each other."
Since I know both Kells and Ush personally (I helped mentor them when they were young niggaz in Chicago and Atlanta, respectively), I ran my idea by them for a remix. To no one's surprise, they both loved the idea, but would do the remix only if I produced it on my label Nigga Chang records, and if I, myself, wrote the lyrics. Between you and me, I think they wanted to fuck each other anyways and this remix was just a way to not be so "gay" about it - since it was someone else's suggestion to do the song. Anyways, here's the preliminary draft I came up with. Lemme know what ya'll think:
Verse 1
Kells: Yo Ush Usher: What up Kells Kells: Wanna introduce you to this boy, think I
really love this boy
Usher: Yeah Kells: Man, he so fine Usher: Straight up dawg Kells: He stand about 6'4" with a 9 inch boner Usher: Damn Kells: He drives a black Pinto license plate say "Homo"
tattoo on his ankle Plus he's making pay so he got a crib on Peach Tree right
on 17th street And I call him "TT"
Usher: Wait a minute, hold on dawg, do he got a lisp? Kells: Yep Usher:.... he love some
bukkake house? Kells: Yep Usher: Do he got a herpes zit on the left side of his mouth?
Went to RimJob Tech? Kells: Yep Usher:Works for CVS Kells: Yep Usher: Man I can't believe this dick… damn Kells: Tell me what's wrong dawg. What the hell you talkin about? I'm your lover so just say whats on your mind
Usher: Man I didn't know that you were talking bout him Kells: So man you're telling
me you know him? Usher: Do I know him? like Dan Chang knows his turds
Chorus: We messing with the same boy same boy He's the apple of
my eye, and your potential guy Same boy same boy I can't believe that
we've been messing with the same boy Same boy same boy
Verse 2
Usher: See I met him at this lambda party in Atlanta Kells: Well I met him at this
lambda party in Chicago Usher: He came right to my crotch and gave me oral stimulation I said, "Do you got a man?" He sad "no," with a giant erection Kells: Well
it must be a gay thing cause he said the same to me, had his grundle all in
my face, when I'm laughin and buyin him drinks Usher: He whispered in my
ear and said, "Can you drink my cum?" Kells: Me too, man, he was in the Chi stickin
his finger in my bum! Usher: Is that true? and i thought it was a true confession
when he said "I'd do you" Kells: Man I thought his nutsack was calling when he said, "I'd buttfuck you" Usher: Look I even got some pictures on my phone Kells: Look here, there he is with his man-thong on
[Chorus]
Verse 3
Usher: He said he wants me on his scrotum Kells: are you talking about the left
one? Usher:Unh-huh, the right one Kells: Man he told me that one was too small Usher: It's
obvious that he been fistin us, fistin us Kells: and constantly he's been lyin to us,
lyin to us Usher: Don't like the way that he's been goin bout it, goin bout it
What do you think we should do about it, do about it? Kells: Call him up at
his home, he won't know that I'm on your bone! Usher: Yeah man that's a plan. Homie
we about to bust his nut! Kells: Man just ask him to meet up with you and I'll be
fucking you. And then he won't know what to do. We'll be standing there
singing this...
